Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Its Been Awhile

Its been awhile and while I wish I had a grand announcement to make, I dont. I can say only that I continue to have new diagnosis and feel like rock hit me every time I climb the mountain of the last diagnosis. I feel bad, guilty, and so tired. I promise myself that I will not let my life or my wonderful families life be affected but who am I kidding? They know Im tired. They see how much weight Ive lost. I cant gain weight even if I eat all day. I cant see well and pain is all I know. I have so many dreams, so many things that I have to do, get done, lists of those I want to help, and a sweet daughter that I will forever show how to give of herself not only in good times, but in bad as well. Only, that has taken a backseat because I have to find out what is wrong with me, so I can continue to give the best of me to her and my terrific family, and that has meant giving myself shots weekly (something I thought I could never do) to keep my vitamins up so that I dont end up in the hospital, even though thats not working, and they dont know why. More tests tomorrow. I cant say Im not scared but if Ive learned anything about giving of yourself, what you give comes back around. And my family is fighting with me. I will never give up. Its never been an option and its never going to be. So hold on, and I promise, slowly I will get back to projects that are only temporarily on hold. God Bless!

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